Today is Mother's Day. Honestly, it's one of my least favorite days of the year...for many reasons. For example, why do we need a Mother's Day in the first place? Shouldn't mothers be honored and loved 365 days a year? And don't we realize how painful this day is to so many out there? Those who have lost their mothers or their children...those who desperately want to be a mom but for whatever reason cannot...those who have had a falling out with their mom or their child...and so many more. I don't know. Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Valentines Day are three days that I am convinced we would be better off without. But enough of my cynicism.
The point is: I am a mother. I have been one since 1995 (so like, a really long time!). Today I can proudly proclaim that I have seen three of my four children become adults and have babies of their own. My baby, the last one who is not legally an adult yet, will hit that milestone in just three months! This means I have survived infancy, terrible twos, kindergarten separation, grade school, middle school, teenage blues, and everything in between four times! And because of this "experience", I want to share a few insights for anyone else out there on this beautiful and painful journey we call "motherhood".
1- Love your kids every chance you get.
I know, I know. Everyone tells you this and everyone says, "with a blink of an eye, they're all grown up!". Well...that's because it is true! I know that right now you might feel like you will be stuck with this horrible, whiny, tantrum throwing two-year-old (or is it a 16-year-old?) for the rest of your life. But you won't. So love them nonstop. And while you're at it, when you're super frustrated with your little one or your teen, wait until they fall asleep and then just watch them for a few minutes. Look at that sweet, peaceful face and remember that this little human is a gift for you to cherish.
2- Listen to your kids every chance you get. Now, I don't mean listening to them fight with one another and I don't mean spy on them when they're with their friends. I simply mean listen. When they are talking to you about their day in kindergarten and you can't really follow the story, listen. When they are explaining the video game they love to you and your eyes feel like glazing over in boredom, listen. When they are telling you about that really cute boy that smiled at them and you feel like pulling out your shotgun, listen. Just let them know that you are always available to listen to them. And that their voice matters.
3- Along with #2, Ask your kids questions every chance you get.
Questions like "how was your day?" or "what did you think about that movie?" or "where would you like to go on vacation if you could go anywhere?". Ask them anything that can open up a conversation with them. And then, well, go back to #2!
4- Just be there for them every chance you get.
This gets more and more important the older the kids get. If your kids know that they can count on you to be there for them, then they will be much less likely to seek others who may not be the greatest influence. This means showing up to as many sporting or extracurricular events as possible, watching a funny movie with them when they need to laugh or even just holding them when they need it (no matter how old they are).
This list could probably go on and on but I think these four are key. I know that I am guilty of not doing these things enough with my babies, but I am glad I still have the rest of their lives to do them. Enjoy being a mom (or dad or aunt or uncle or human) and add a little more love to their lives and to the world!
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